Promise Ring vs. Engagement Ring - What's the Difference?

While a promise ring and an engagement ring both represent love and commitment within a relationship, they each serve a unique purpose. A promise ring and an engagement ring are different in appearance, cost, etiquette, and meaning that can symbolise a different stage in a couple’s journey. 

What is a promise ring?

The concept of a promise ring, also referred to as a pre-engagement or placeholder ring, has been around since the 15th century and is often given to a significant other to show the intention of marriage, but not in the immediate future. A promise ring is popular among couples who are separated by distance, work, study commitments, or those pursuing life goals. It is a symbol of commitment and devotion to the future.

What is an engagement ring?

Since the 20th century, engagement rings have traditionally marked the beginning of a marital union, representing a formal proposal of marriage. An engagement ring is for a couple who is committed to legally uniting and starting a life together in the near future. 

Engagement rings are priced as an investment piece that can be passed down as a family heirloom. An engagement ring is simultaneously a personal commitment and a public announcement of the couple’s dedication to each other.

Promise ring vs. engagement ring – what's the difference?

Meaning

Both promise rings and engagement rings demonstrate the idea of commitment; however, each has a unique symbolic meaning. 

Traditionally, a promise ring was a symbol of commitment between a couple who had to wait a period of time before marrying for age or religious reasons. Today, a promise ring may be given to signify devotion and exclusivity, but it doesn’t always indicate the promise of marriage. 

An engagement ring is a symbol of the intent to get married in the immediate future, representing a formal agreement between two people to wed and start the wedding planning process.

Timing

A promise ring and an engagement ring are given at different times in a relationship to initiate the next step of a couple’s commitment. 

As the commitment and investment for giving a promise ring is less formal, it is generally given earlier in a relationship than an engagement ring. Often, a person will present a promise ring to acknowledge they value the relationship and are serious about it, but are not ready to get married just yet.

An engagement ring is given when both partners are ready for marriage. It is given and received as an agreement to unite their respective families and be tied together legally. This is a big, legal step in a relationship, which is why an engagement ring is often presented when the couple’s compatibility has been thoroughly established. While there are no formal ‘rules’ around an engagement timeline, most couples get married within 1 to 2 years of getting engaged.

Appearance

The appearance of a promise ring is generally more open for interpretation than an engagement ring. A promise ring may resemble a simpler version of an engagement ring, featuring a small centre diamond or gemstone and a modest setting. Alternatively, a promise ring can have no centre stone at all, featuring an engraved or uniquely-shaped band instead. Ultimately, the decision comes down to the couple. 

While different engagement ring designs are abundant, they generally have one thing in common: engagement rings are often more complex or sophisticated in design. An engagement ring typically features a diamond, which is the centre stone.

Cost

The price of a promise ring and an engagement ring differs significantly. A promise ring is often more affordable than an engagement ring due to a more simple design. On average, a promise ring can cost a few hundred dollars. 

The cost of an engagement ring can range from $3,000 to $100,000+, depending on the size, setting, and diamond or gemstone used in the ring. An engagement ring is carefully crafted and priced as an investment piece.

How they are worn

As opposed to an engagement ring, which is generally worn on the fourth finger of the left hand, a promise ring can be worn on any finger. It’s common to wear a promise ring on the fourth finger of the right hand to distinguish it clearly from an engagement ring. However, some may choose to wear it on their left hand to act as a placeholder for their future engagement ring or wedding ring. Again, the choice is up to the couple.

Should you get a promise ring or an engagement ring?

Whether you give your partner an engagement ring or a promise ring, you are making a significant step in the relationship and symbolising your commitment to your future together; however, it isn’t a decision you have to make by yourself. 

In today’s age, choosing to get married requires careful consideration and long-term planning, and whether you want to get married in the near or long-term future should be a joint decision between you and your significant other. Through clear communication, you can determine if a promise ring or an engagement ring is appropriate for your relationship and life stage.